Zen-Mother

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There is an issue that affects many women I am sure, especially women who have given birth several times, but they don’t like to talk about it. It is one of those hush, hush things…bladder control problems. Well guess what, one in four of us Moms suffers from light bladder leakage (as many of us can attest as we jump on trampolines or laugh, cough or sneeze too hard), yet we rarely talk about it. Why are we so embarassed? Leaking urine, having to urinate frequently and experiencing other symptoms of urinary incontinence aren’t trivial consequences of childbirth or a natural parts of aging either. You can do something about it if you seek medical help. The Mayo Clinic suggests seeing a Urogynecologist. This is an obstetrician-gynecologist with additional training in problems that affect a woman’s pelvic floor — the network of muscles, ligaments, connective tissue and nerves that help support and control the bladder and other pelvic organs. Anyone can start researching and see what they can do.

To help open a dialogue about pelvic health and reverse the stigma often associated with bladder and pelvic issues, Poise has joined with the Women’s Health Foundation (WHF) to increase awareness of pelvic health and wellness. At a recent benefit to raise awareness they presented the first-ever Passion Award to Linda Michael of Portage, Indiana because her story of personal triumph over pelvic pain and bladder control issues - and her willingness to tell about it. Click here for Linda’s Story. It is awesome that they are trying to bring awareness to this issue.

Head over to Poise to learn more enter two different sweepstakes and sign up for valuable coupon offers.

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Meme with one word answers…play along with me?

1. Where is your cell phone?  Purse
2. Your significant other? Hottie
3. Your hair? short
4. Your mother? CONTROLLING
5. Your father? softie
6. Your favorite thing? travel
7. Your dream last night? forgot
8. Your favorite drink? Bellini
9. Your dream/goal? Adventure
10. The room you’re in?  bedroom
11. Your church? NO!
12. Your fear? unhappiness
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Traveling
14. Where were you last night? movies
15. What you’re not? glamorous
16. Muffins? Nah
17. One of your wish list items? Camera lens
18. Where you grew up? Phoenix
19. The last thing you did? Read
20. What are you wearing? Shorts & T
21. Your TV? Flat
22. Your pets? Dogs
23. Your computer? New
24. Your life? unfulfilling
25. Your mood? ready to change
26. Missing someone? yes…BF
27. Your car?  8 years old
28. Something you’re not wearing? bra
29. Favorite store? Amazon.com
30. Your summer? Good
31. Like(love) someone? kids, husband
32. Your favorite color? green
33. Last time you laughed? Last night
34. Last time you cried? Yesterday
35. Who will repost this? ????????????????????????

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3 movies have really resonated with me lately and made me start thinking long and hard about my life, where I want it to go, and where I have “failed” in a sense, thus far. For as long as I can remember I have been a movie buff. I like to read too but I like to read non-fiction mostly so my fictional needs have usually been met by movies.

The movies that have got me doing some thinking:

The Notebook: Yes I had to watch it again after my 10 hottest movie kisses post. The part that got me was the end…after the love between Allie and Noah creates a miracle and takes them away together at the same time. Sorry if you haven’t seen it, avert your eyes now - they die in their old age together at the exact same time and neither has to live without the other. In the end they had no regrets or wants. They lived their lives to the fullest, together, creating a family, and then living out their remaining days together. They weren’t sad about death…only the possibility that they might have to live…without their mate. In the end it shows birds flying away together and this kinda, sorta, leads you to believe it is them…flying away together. Remember Allie and Noah talking about being birds reincarnated in another life earlier in the movie?

So it got me thinking. No one knows exactly what happens after death. Yes we have beliefs or faith maybe but no concrete proof. Maybe…just maybe…all we have is NOW. If that is the case are we happy with our paths thus far? I think Noah and Allie were but I am sadly NOT. If I were to die tomorrow I think I wasted a lot of my time and I didn’t pursue the things that I REALLY wanted and I honestly think that has alot to do with the religion I grew up with. I am gratfeul for many things that I was taught but many are common sense issues really. I also grew up thinking all the things I wanted in life, my personal interests,  were to be ignored because God came first.

So you want to play sports because it makes you happy? NO…that teaches competition and you might start to think too much of yourself. So you want to go to college and be an anthropologist? NO…that is not a sensible career because it would mean studying other belief systems that contradict your own. Never mind the fact that if something really is TRUTH…you can poke holes all you want….real truth will remain real truth. My parents and I gave up our dreams because we wanted to be good Christians. So you want to travel the world solo or with your boyfriend before you settle down? NO much more sensible to marry immediately, get a job, have kids, and devote your life to God. UNLESS you want to travel the world as missionary…that is pretty much the only acceptable reason to devote any considerable amount of time to travel. Now here I am wondering what my life could have been if I had just followed my heart…and my mind…an ignored the scriptural interpretation of religious leaders who, in case you were wondering, preached “works based salvation”…which means salvation is not a gift…it is something you need to earn every second of your life or the rug will be pulled from under you. AND here is the kicker…MEN in the “church” get to decide if you are worthy of salvation and reward or punish you appropriately.

But now you may be wondering what this has to do with the Notebook….regrets. Noah and Allie didn’t have any because they lived life on their terms and no one else’s.

I am 30 years old now and for 22ish years I lived my life to please other men…who felt it was their divine right to stand in judgement of me and make me think I was never good enough. And for the last 7ish years I have been kinda lost without them. Like an abused child who can’t stand up to the abusive parent. Oh yes, I have regrets.

Okay enough on that…movie number 2: P.S. I Love You. If you haven’t seen this you really are missing an important movie. In the very beginning, the characters Holly and Gerry, are fighting. Gerry wants to start a family and Holly does not. She feels like they need to have more money, a bigger apartment, better jobs, etc. before they can have a family or even really be happy. She says she feels like she is waiting for her life to begin. It has to be pretty darn near perfect before she can be happy and content. WOW! That is totally me…constantly putting my life and dreams on hold until every piece is in place….perfect. I seriously make goals every New Year’s and say this is the year…this is the year everything goes my way and my life begins…I just need for this HUGE laundry list of things to fall into place first. THEN my life will begin…at 30 my life will begin…or so I said this past New Year.

Holly has the same problem I have except her hubby died a few shorts months after that fight scene (brain tumor) and she realized that she really robbed herself of the happiness she could have had all those years. She never planned on not having enough time. Few of us do.

I guess this just really hit me hard as I realize that nothing has changed since my hubby came home about 5 months ago from a job that took him away all but 4-5 days a month. Now he is physically in the same time zone but working long hours so that yet again I sleep alone most nights and I am still the kids only caregiver. When he is home, he is sleeping. I have no social life to speak of unless catching a late night movie with my 7 year old counts. I desperately wanted to go to Blogher Con this year in San Francisco (one of my fave cities) but his weirdo schedule and lack of other suitable care for the kids prevented me. This is NOT the life I wanted. Will I do anything about it though or will I just wait…until I can say when I am 40…this is not the life I wanted.

No don’t get me wrong. I love my hubby, I love my kids, I love what I do professionally but I still wanted more out of this life. It is about time I either go out and DO IT or I accept what I have and be genuinely happy with it. If this life is all that I have… I am wasting it.

And finally the third movie…Wanted with James McAvoy and Angelina Jolie. The movie follows the journey of a geeky office worker grunt who ends up becoming a kick butt assassin. The last line in the movie is “This is me taking control of my life…what the f**k have you done lately!?”

Amen to that! I wanted to be able to look back in my old age and have plenty of opportunities to say I DID THAT! So far is just aint happening.

SO there you have it.

1. I have regrets

2. My life is in an extended stall pattern

3. My answer to what the f**k have you done lately!? is pretty unimpressive.

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I just recently heard about the Rock Your School program featuring Kimberly-Clark. While I think it is overall a travesty that our schools are not in better financial shape I do think it is awesome that people are being encouraged to try and make their schools better and that private groups are lending a hand. Next year I will have one child in homeschool and one child in a private christian school so I feel kinda guilty I guess for abandoning public schools. If I had the money I would try and help them out so that children can have experiences and supplies they might otherwise do without.

Anywho…Kimberly-Clark is already focused on how to bring some fun - and extra resources - back to school this fall with a Rock Back to School program. She has partnered with Box Tops for Education, a program dedicated to helping schools raise money to develop programs, purchase books, and buy school supplies. To celebrate, they’ve launched a nationwide contest offering parents a chance to win 100,000 Bonus Box Tops, plus an exclusive concert featuring Radio Disney star Jordan Pruitt for their child’s school. Wow! That would be so special for our city schools here.

Bonus Box Tops go a long way. Here is what 100,000 - equivalent to $10,000 - of them could mean for your child’s school:

· Technology Upgrades: A mobile cart complete with 20 wireless-ready laptops, allowing travel from classroom to classroom.
· The Necessities: Enough No. 2 pencils so that, when laid pencil to eraser, they would stretch across the length of more than 145 football fields.
· Hands-on Learning Outside the Classroom: An educational class trip for 20 students including airfare, hotel accommodations and museum admission.

Parents or legal guardians of students in grades K through 8 can enter the sweepstakes daily June 28 through Sept. 15 online at www.RockBacktoSchool.com. Winners will be selected at random from all eligible entries on or around Sept. 22. Look for Box Tops on specially marked packages of participating Kimberly-Clark brands like Huggies, Cottonelle and Kleenex. Of course it would be even better if the box tops were not on disposable (aka wasteful products) cause we don’t buy that stuff but I am sure there are tons of families that do.

So if you want a chance to raise some money for your local school district and have a shot at bringing a concert their way check out http://www.rockbacktoschool.com/!

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On the waterslide…

Eating Pizza…

Parker in a snazzy pink swim diaper…

And my Best Shot Monday…

Visit Mother May I for other Best Shots.

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Don’t ask me why I felt compelled to write out the 10 hottest movie kisses. It was fun to compile them nonetheless. These are the hottest kisses ever IMO but feel free to comment and tell me what movie rated the best for you. Hottest = hyperventilating, salivating, feeling faint, and generally just unable to function after seeing these kisses. So let’s get started:

I don’t care what anyone says… the HOTTEST kiss ever to hit the silver screen is the kiss between Noah and Allie (aka Rachel McAdams & Ryan Gosling) in The Notebook. This is also one of the best films ever made, hands down. Noah and Allie are young and in love but Allie’s cruel parents separate them due to Noah’s lack of wealth and proper breeding. Years after they are separated and Allie is about to marry someone else she decides she needs to see Noah one last time. The hot kiss that ensues is followed by the one of the steamiest love scenes too.

So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday. - Noah

The #2 best kiss goes to Satine and Christian (aka Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor) of Moulin Rouge, another one of the best movies of all time. Satine is a courtesan who works at the Moulin Rouge, a cabaret. Christian is an aspiring poet/writer who goes to the Moulin Rouge to see Satine and convince her to star in a play he is writing. She mistakes him for a wealthy Duke that she planned on meeting that evening and they fall in love. When their error is discovered it is to late…they are helplessly in love and cannot bear to be parted even though their forbidden love can get them both killed. It has some steamy kisses but the best is in the elephant room on top of the Moulin Rouge.

Then I’ll write a song and we’ll put it in the show and whenever you sing it or hear it. Or whistle or hum it then you’ll know. It’ll mean that we love one another.

 

The #3 hottest kiss goes to Rose and Jack (aka Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio) in The Titanic. Their forbidden love is agonizing to watch and their kiss on the stern of the ship while holding their hands outstretched in the wind is priceless. And their kiss after being reunited upon Rose’s death is pretty awesome too.

The #4 kiss goes to Robbie and Cecilia (aka James McAvoy and Keira Knightley) in Atonement. The tension between these two can be cut with a knife and when they finally meet up in a dark library watch out! This movie is also phenomenal and gut wrenching as shortly after that kiss they are separated by a little girl’s false accusation.

The #5 kiss goes to Erik and Christine (aka Gerard Butler and Emmy Rossum) in The Phantom of the Opera. Butler plays the Phantom, a disfigured musical genius obsessed with the voice of Christine Daae, a beautiful young soprano. Their kisses are so full of longing and passion that the screen steams up.

The #6 kiss goes to Sally and Michael (aka Mark Feuerstein and Sandra Bullock) in Practical Magic. I couldn’t find a picture of this one but it was pretty darn awesome. As the clock strikes noon, Sally is overcome by the spell her Aunt’s cast and she runs down the main road of her small town and right into Michael’s arms, jumping on him and wrapping her legs around him to plant one heck of a whopper on him. The song in the background is This Kiss…which I also love.

The #7 best kiss goes to King Leonidas and Queen Gorgo (aka Gerard Butler and Lena Headey) in 300. No picture of this one either. King Leonidas takes 300 men on a suicide mission to save Sparta and leaves his wife behind. Their brief on-screen love scene is very steamy as is the affection he shows for her throughout the movie. His last words are about his love for her. Also 300 deserves a mention because it amounts to 2 hours of muscle bound men in skimpy underwear. Trust me this movie isn’t just for men….long live Sparta!

The #8 hottest kiss goes to Jim Craig and Jessica Harrison (aka Tom Burlinson and Sigrid Thornton) in The Man from Snowy River. Another forbidden love story but this Aussie film rocks, as does its sequel, Return to Snowy River. Jim is the hired help on big cattle ranch and he falls in love with the rancher’s daughter. When Jessica takes off and goes wandering in the dangerous snowy mountains, it is Craig who goes to find her. Their kiss takes place in probably the most picturesque place I have ever seen. It is absolutely amazing. These movies are classics…you MUST see them if you haven’t already.

The #9 hottest kiss belongs to Selene and Michael (aka Kate Beckinsale and Scott Speedman) in Underworld Evolution. Part of what makes this kiss so special is the fact that we waited all through the first movie, Underworld, for the love between the vampire Selene and the Werewolf Michael to result in a kiss but we were left with nothing!! In the sequel we are rewarded with one very steamy scene stolen inside an abandoned wearhouse while a vampire war is rampaging.

The #10 kiss goes to Faith and Peter (aka Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr.) in Only You. When Faith was a little girl a fortune teller and a wigi board tell her that her soul mate is a man named Damon Bradley. She searches for him in vain until one day he calls her to decline the wedding invite her fiance sent him! Faith hops on a flight to Venice (where Damon said he was going) to search for him. She pursues him all over Italy until she meets Peter, who immediately senses a connection between them and decides to pretend to be Damon… her long lost soul mate. Their kiss, in the wee morning hours, after walking all night in Rome, is not to be missed.

So what makes your top kisses list?

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If you have ever planned a wedding you probably bought tons of bridal magazines…I know I did. Most of them are full of honeymoon ads and one ad that always hooked me from the get go was Beaches Resorts. I soooo wanted to go to Beaches for my honeymoon. But since we weren’t paying for it we had little input on that aspect of the wedding. We ended up having a great time in Vegas, staying at the Bellagio, and sipping 44 ounce margaritas!

I never forgot Beaches though and I have thinking of them often lately as they also have family packages that look amazing. If you are not familiar, Beaches are all inclusive resorts. So when you book a vacation with them food, fun, activities, etc. are all included in the price. So parents can scuba dive and eat a gourmet restaurant while their kids see the Live Elmo show and eat grilled cheese in the room with one of the Beaches certified nannies. Fun for the whole family but it does allow for mom and dad to get some alone time in…which I love because unfortunately for hubby I am not big on going on vacation without the kids. I don’t like experiencing wonderful new things without them. My parents always took me and my brothers and I have always taken mine. So any resort that is for the WHOLE family is tops in my book!

They also have some amazing destinations… Turks & Caicos, Negril, Jamaica, & Boscobel. Boscobel even has a killer waterpark. AND right now Beaches is having a WonderFall Promotion. GET 1 free night when you stay 5 or 6 nights. GET 2 free nights when you stay 7 nights (or longer).Valid in any category at one of the resorts above. Combine it with up to 45% off for incredible savings. A GREAT deal on a great family vacation. Oh Beaches how I love thee….

Who doesn’t want dazzling white-sand beaches, translucent turquoise water and a vast array of exciting amenities. Me, me, me!! Take me away Beaches!

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Okay, okay …so I have been crushing on him awhile. But since he just released a new movie, I have been crushing on James McAvoy even more than ususal. Just look at this yumminess:

His new movie is called Wanted with Angelina Jolie. Angelina is just window dressing…James rocks as an action star and assassin. Other movies of his that I loved: The Chronicles of Narnia (only he could look hot playing a goat), Becoming Jane, and Atonement. The last two will have you crying your eyeballs out.

Anyway I got to thinking about which male celebs I dig the most and Gerard Butler of course, tops the list:

Oh and I MUST mention my sweet Ewan McGregor:

It doesn’t get any hotter than this but … uhm…anyone else noticing a pattern here??? Their all Scottish! Yes, I guess this Scottish lassie has a thing for Scottish lads. Of course I ended up marrying a Ruskie. But just look at my kids names…Maclivane, Mackenzie, Maclain. Scottland sure knows how to turn em out.

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Cool beans! I recently got a nifty new product to review from Schlage Locks. It just so happens I really needed this product because I am not big on locking doors. I usually have a 40 pound kid in one arm and and other take along items in the other so who has time. Also, if your keys get stolen…and I have uhm…lost a few sets in my time…then you don’t have to worry because these key pads are digital. No key, just a code.


They are super nice looking too so I didn’t have to worry about an ugly lock. There are several nice shades like bronze, pewter, and chrome. AND they are really easy to install. No keys to hide, lose, carry or forget, ready to use right out of the box - 9 volt battery included, allows you to add, change or delete user codes in seconds, and can be installed with just a screwdriver in less than 30 minutes. They come with keys just in case too. I like the fact that my kids won’t need to carry keys around that they can lose either they just need a code. Once you input the code you hear a click and you can open the door. Easy!


In addition to the exterior lock/deadbolt they have interior locks that can go on basement doors, garage doors, office doors, etc. I would love to have one for the basement door.


At $130 these locks are up there in price but I think they are well worth it. We now have one for both exterior doors and are thinking of adding interior ones as well.

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I admit I often wonder about moms who like to refer to themselves as Yummy Mummies or heaven forbid, MILFs (if you don’t know…I ain’t tellin). As a wife and mom of three I can think of sooooo may other important things to be…like a good role model, a good person, and educated person, etc. While it may not be high on my list of priorities to look like some hot mama I do appreciate many aspects of The Yummy Mummy Manifesto. It IS important to feel youthful and good about yourself so that you can be a refreshing, playful parent and one who doesn’t lose her identity after she becomes a mom.


This book guides moms through maternity and motherhood with style, passion, and a healthy sense of self. It encourages moms to look at motherhood as an adventure…an art…not a skill.


Some of my favorite chapters included:

• Seven Yummy Self Image Secrets
• Maternal Chic
• Boudoir Secrets for Pregnant and Plus Size Mamas
• Getting through the first six weeks after a new baby.
• Eco Mama: Walk tall and leave a tiny carbon footprint
• Bad Days: Mantras of the survivalist mother
• Crafts
• 20 Selfish Little Pleasures

The book was funny and refreshing and perhaps just what a stressed out, down in the self image dumps, mama needs. You probably aren’t going to have the beauty and confidence of Angelina Jolie but you can be improve what you’ve got and make the most of and feel GOOD about it. And kids need to see a mom who feels good about herself!

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